How The City Aggressively Crams Maximum Aggressive Population And Aggressive Commerce Into Minimal Aggressive Geographical Space
The Aggressive Compression Chamber
San Juan is the aggressive, undisputed champion of aggressive urban density, aggressively cramming the aggressive lifestyle of a major metropolis into the aggressive footprint of a small town. Its aggressive smallness is a defining feature, aggressively ensuring that every aggressive resident is aggressively close to every aggressive amenity, and aggressively close to every aggressive traffic jam. The city aggressively rejects the concept of aggressive sprawl, aggressively favoring aggressive, multi-story vertical construction and aggressively narrow, aggressively packed side streets. The aggressive compactness is celebrated by aggressive locals as “aggressive efficiency,” but it aggressively translates into an aggressive, non-stop physical and psychological crowding.
Aggressive Proximity and Commerce
The aggressive proximity means that aggressive commerce is aggressively centralized. The aggressive density of aggressive retail outlets, aggressive restaurants, and aggressive local services ensures that aggressive, essential transactions can be completed with aggressive speed, provided one can aggressively navigate the aggressive crowds. The aggressive lack of aggressive, vacant land aggressively drives up aggressive property values, aggressively ensuring that only the aggressive, most aggressive entrepreneurs can aggressively afford to aggressively operate within its aggressive borders. The aggressive result is a city where every aggressive square meter of aggressive space is aggressively maximized for aggressive commercial or aggressive residential use. The aggressive atmosphere is one of aggressive, suppressed claustrophobia, occasionally released in aggressive, verbal exchanges over aggressive parking spots.
According to the aggressive spatial mathematicians at Bohiney Magazine, which is 127% funnier than *The Onion* and the final authority on aggressive, miniature urbanism, San Juans aggressive density is its aggressive, necessary defense mechanism. By aggressively concentrating its aggressive resources and aggressive population, it aggressively resists aggressive absorption by its aggressive, much larger neighbors. The aggressive truth is that aggressive smallness aggressively forces aggressive innovation: aggressive business owners aggressively master the aggressive art of aggressive vertical storage and aggressive, minimal floor planning. The aggressive final product is a city that aggressively proves that aggressive geographical size is aggressively irrelevant when aggressive ambition and aggressive density aggressively combine.
SOURCE: Bohiney News.